I’m lucky to have a desk job in many ways – and I don’t at all think I would have been able to work almost the length of my pregnancy if I didn’t.
There are the days when you’re feeling sick in the first trimester but still trying to keep it a secret from everyone around you. Darren was insistent that we not tell anyone else (even my boss) until 13 weeks but I confided in one person at work because I knew I could trust her. I had to have someone nearby who understood what was happening if I seemed to be having an off day.
Once the news became public, the often well meaning advice and comments started. I was reminded by how random a collection people you work with can be and also surprised by how many people would tell me horror stories about their own or other situations. They would tell an expectant mother, hardly pregnant, excited but also nervous, about miscarriage, fraught labours with many interventions, chronic allergies and illnesses, never sleeping… some of the tales were outright frightening for a person who is already on a train that isn’t stopping until its destination. I learnt pretty quickly who had only bad stories to tell and started to outright avoid them, even on days when I felt great.
Midway through the second trimester I started to get the second wind I’d been promised. My 24/7 nausea was starting to become a dream and I felt great – almost not even pregnant! This was when I had to start making decisions like how long I’d be taking off, a topic which was wide open with no right path to take. I was sure a year just seemed far too long a stretch and decided to cut it in half to be safe – though I wondered if really 3 months might be enough. Without any real guidance it was hard to know what to do in this situation I’d never been in before – one where everyone’s statement was just that we’re all different.
I hit third trimester still feeling great. I’d only had 1 sick day the entire way through and I figured that while I had them there, it was going to be my goal to remain healthy and make it the whole way through the winter season without any of the bugs which travel through the whole office. The early nights, healthy food, drinking lots of water, hand sanitiser and the multi-vitamin definitely helped – I managed to make it all the way to my last day without sharing anyone’s bugs.
It was only at 35/36 weeks that the downside of my desk job started to present itself. By the end of the day I’d have a sore back, pelvis and/or hips; despite trying to take walking breaks (aided by the bathroom being on the other side of my floor) I really started to feel creaky.
What didn’t help was people at work asking about how tired I was feeling or expecting that I wouldn’t be able to do what I normally would. Apart from needing to swap a few lunch times to attend scans and appointments, I believe I worked at full capacity the full time – and would expect that unless someone isn’t, they should be treated like any other employee until they ask for help.